You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. -Desmond Tutu

This is a chronicle of the journey that brings our daughter home. Welcome and thanks for stopping by.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

That's My Daughter




Ba-ba checking in. That’s Cantonese for daddy. Since Pam has taken the lion’s share of keeping this blog updated (ok, you got me; “share” implies that I’ve pitched in…I haven’t, it’s been all Pam!), I thought I should finally take a crack at an update. So, here goes…

To begin with, the title of today’s entry comes from a song. Before we left for China, Pam’s colleagues at BrainCells, Inc. (no, it’s not the name of a company from Steve Martin’s movie “The Man With Two Brains”) threw us a congratulatory lunch. It was great fun, and very, very thoughtful on the part of all of Pam’s great friends at work. During the lunch we were treated to a little mini-movie (courtesy of David Miller – thanks David!) replete with images of Lanhua (surreptitiously hijacked from Pam’s computer – that’s the benefit of being the company IT guy) and humorous quotes regarding parenting. And the soundtrack for the little movie was the song “Daughter” by Loudon Wainwright III…so catchy and so perfect (thanks Jill!). It was terrific.

So for the past two weeks this earworm of a song has been playing in my head, and I still can’t believe it actually applies to Pam and I. The first two weeks in Guangzhou were a blur and somewhat surreal; Pam nailed it with every one of her entries. It was so overwhelmingly emotionally and so…what’s the word?...unbelievable…that it was hard to comprehend that we actually had a daughter. That this little girl was now legally our responsibility and that the paths ahead were so infinitely varied and awesome as to be literally mind-boggling was, I think, a bit much for us (or at least me) to tackle in Guangzhou. It was like we were babysitters with an extended contract. But ever since we’ve arrived home, everything that Lanhua does seems to hit that specific neuronal (that’s for the BrainCells crowd) “play” button, “Daughter” starts to unreel in my head, and it sinks in, deeper each time: that IS my daughter! And nearly every time I’m overwhelmed anew.

Now for you parents out there, I’m sure this is very familiar and probably old-hat by now. So, I hope I’m not boring you with the obvious. But for Pam and I, who not very long ago at all were despairing at the possibility that we would ever be parents…well, it’s been nothing short of life-affirming. This little munchkin, this little ball of cuteness, this crazy mix of wonder and mischief (and boy, she can be trouble with a capital “T”) is allowing us the insane privilege of entering her life and caring for her. And Pam and I could not be happier.

Anyway, I promise to start holding up my end of the bargain and posting more often to relieve some of the pressure off of mama. I definitely want to make a point of giving a huge and heartfelt thanks to all of our friends and family, both close by and distant, for their unbelievable support, kind words, and warmest of wishes. (A special shout-out to the Hull family – Tim, your recent email choked me up; it was, as a Jewish friend would put it, a mitzvah. Thank you.) We will continue to keep this blog going as long as Lanhua keeps things interesting. So, what, that takes us out for another 30 years or so? (By then I’m thinking “blogging” and “Facebook” will be passé; we’ll just send you updates via telepathy.)

As for today’s photos…the first is my favorite. Lanhua took it while we waiting in the hotel lobby for our ride to the airport. She was so nonchalant about the whole thing – “Yeah, America, adoption, etc. Big whoop.” – yet I have to think she was at least a little nervous. She snapped this picture of her feet. I love it, not only because her shoes are so cute, but because I have the very special privilege of knowing and loving what’s connected to those cute little feet.

The second is of her first attempted bike ride with Pam. Crazy…9 years old and never ridden a bike before.

And the last is of Lanhua running crazily through the fields of Stinky Island, where we take our dogs for walks.

Yep, that’s our daughter….

PS As for real-time updates, yesterday afternoon we purchased roller-blades for Lanhua at her insistence. I foresee Lanhua’s first genuine, American bruises and/or scrapes on the way…

PPS By the way, Lanhua does have a face – honestly! She is just so good at hiding it from the camera!

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for opening your blog to the other families that are in process to adopt from the Journeys Hope program. Congratulations to both of you.
    We are in process for Jane and Shirely.
    How is your daughter adjusting to school? Did she want or not want an American name? We see both advantages and disavantages.
    Our other two daughters ate a lot of eggs, dried fruit and Ramen noodles when they came home. Sometimes Chicken and tuna hit the spot. Good luck.

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  2. Greetings! We're now into week 2 of school and Lanhua seems to be adjusting well. Her teacher says that she interacts with the other kids and participates in all class activities. We find this remarkable, since she doesn't speak any English (although her comprehension is improving everyday). She was very excited about the homework she received last Tuesday and genuinely seems to look forward to going to class. We think she's still struggling with jet lag (not be be underestimated), so getting her out of bed in the morning is our biggest challenge. When we first met Lanhua, it was clear that she apreciates structure and routine. Considering how much her world has changed in the past month, school is probably something predicatable and familiar (in concept)that she can anticipate and has some control over.

    Thanks for the food advice! We haven't tried tuna.

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