Feeding Lanhua: An Update

When Lanhua first arrived in the US, we were somewhat concerned about what to feed her. Eight months later, we are pleased to report that Lanhua continues to acclimate to offerings of a Western diet. In addition to her Western diet of pizza, pasta, burgers and fries, she also enjoys sophisticated sushi (uni and oysters are among her favorites), most of the delicious and diverse offerings her dad makes for dinner, all that is shellfish, and just about anything that comes from her favorite local Asian market: 99 Ranch Market.

Last week we took a trip to 99 Ranch. Lan walked down every isle and tossed a number of random and mysterious selections into the grocery basket. This is a picture of some of the food Lanhua chose.  Note: We have no idea what some of these foods are, nor do we know how to prepare them. These days, our kitchen is the place of many happy experiments.

Photos from Guangzhou

Since Lanhua made contact with her foster family last week, there's been excitement on both sides of the globe. Lan spent the week preparing a big package with special gifts she's picked-out for her family in Guangzhou. She seems to be adjusting to this renewed connection quite well and is genuinely happy about writing to them and sending presents. She talks about her foster family more often now and despite her limited English, she's been very effective in describing her family and life in Guangzhou to us.

In the meantime, we received these photos from Lanhua's foster brother via email. It's been a milestone month!

The photos include Lanhua's foster mother, as well as her older foster brother and his wife. We're not sure who the other little girl is in the pictures. We think she may be a second child this family was caring for. (More to follow as the mystery unfolds.)

A Call to Guanzhou

We've had a very busy past couple of weeks, and we'll post soon on Lan's foray into her new school.  We also will be moving into a new and bigger home soon, so we'll post pictures of that as well.

But first, I wanted to write a quick post on a very significant event that happened this morning.  Ever since we arrived home with Lanhua, we've wondered when she was going to want to make contact with her foster family.  The first few months home I think she was simply too overwhelmed to think about it (or to ask us).  About 3 months ago she finally said she wanted to call, and we marked the calendar to do so. But the day arrived and she suddenly had no interest in calling. 

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon.  When I picked her up from school, she suddenly made it clear that she wanted to call her "Guangzhou mama."  As Guangzhou is 15 hours ahead of us, we made plans to call first thing this morning at around 6:30 or so.  I was very interested to see if, like last time, this morning would arrive and she would have simply forgotten about the call or changed her mind.

Nope.  She hopped right out of bed, had breakfast, and then - clearly excited - asked for the iPhone.  I placed the call - more than a little nervous, mainly because I was unsure whether we had the correct number! - and when it started to ring handed the phone to Lan.  Someone picked up and Lan mumbled a few words.  I got the idea that the person on the other end didn't recognize the voice, because when Lanhua softly said, "Dong Lanhua,"  the person on the other end of the call got very loud and very happy! 

Needless to say, this was a very emotional morning for everyone involved.  For the next hour, Lan spoke to all of her foster family members - it was clear the phone in Guanzhou was being passed from happy family member to happy family member.  It was also one of those VERY rare occasions when Lan let her guard down and let her emotions show.  She was clearly both very happy and very sad to be speaking with her Guangzhou family again after nearly 7 months. 

For Pam and I, it was also very, very emotional for many reasons.  When we were in Guangzhou meeting Lanhua, we had very much wanted to meet her foster family, and we under the impression that we would be able to.  However, once there we were informed that it would not be possible.  So we never got to meet them, which, for us, was very upsetting.  So it made us very happy this morning that Lan finally re-connected with the only family that she has really known in her ten years.

On the other hand, it was also very, very difficult to see Lan so visibly sad - this is a girl that we have seen let tears go MAYBE once before, and this morning they were flowing freely - and it was tough for both of us to restrain our tears so as to not make Lan even more sad or uncomfortable  (but, anyone that knows us has probably already guessed we didn't do a very good job of restraining said tears).  It really put into perspective what Lan - a little 10 year old girl as fragile as any other - is going through, and how difficult her life has been.   I truly cannot imagine it.

Before Lan had got on the phone, Scout tried to get her to understand to ask for an email address, but Lan was not quite getting what we were after.  During the phone conversation we used the dry-erase board to write down our home address, hoping that she would give it her family.  She tried, but was having difficulty with the English.  In fact, interestingly, she was even having trouble speaking Cantonese - she clearly has forgotten quite a bit.  She's in that strange netherland of forgetting her own language while not knowing the language she's surrounded by.  (This of course is more than a little upsetting to Pam and I, but luckily her new school will be starting Chinese lessons soon, so we're hopeful that Lan will be able to retain her native language - or at least Mandarin - while she slowly learns English).

At any rate, we had given up hope that we would be able to get her family's email address, or give them ours, when Lan suddenly handed me the phone.  As I put the phone to my ear I was thinking, "well, this is going to be a failure," when suddenly I heard a hesitant "hello."  It was Lan's older foster brother (or "gege" in Cantonese, pronounced "guh-guh"), and he spoke a little English!  We exchanged email addresses, which is awesome to say the least!  He also told me that he and his family miss Lanhua very much.  I can only imagine how much they do, and when he told me this it was all I could do to hold it together for Lan's sake.

Lanhua spent another 15 minutes or so on the phone (boy do we wish we knew what she was talking about!), and then said her goodbyes.  On the way to school (we were late of course!), she made it clear that she wanted to call back soon.

All in all, it was one of the most important (and emotional) events of our short time with Lan thus far.  Pam and I also feel that although this call might in a way be one of those "two steps back" deals in our relationship with Lanhua,  we also hope that it help Lan realize that we truly want her to stay in contact with her foster family, and that maybe this will help build up her trust in us.  We are also very excited about having their email address - we can now send letters, pictures, updates, etc.  (Unfortunately, this blog is blocked in China, so they will not be able to access it.)

It was also a reminder that although we are Lan's "parents," we are not yet her parents and we have a long journey ahead of us.  But we are more than ever looking forward to that journey, and know it will be wonderful in every way because of this incredibly special little girl.

First Day of School

Lanhua started her first day of Fourth Grade this morning. Because of a bad cold and eye infection, she started school 3 days late (she's still acclimating to Western germs). When we dropped her off, Steve and I were reminded of how kind children are. The kids were so welcoming and helpful. It didn’t take long for several of them to commandeer Lanhua and assume the role of her guides. I cried. I waited until I was back in the car, but seriously, I cried.


The School: After months of deliberation, Steve and I decided to enroll Lan in a Montessori school. The school (grades K-12) is small, diverse and emphasizes creative and performing arts. www.ccpaasd.com/
Lan participated in 3 weeks of summer camp at the school and seemed to enjoy the experience. The structure, environment and general vibe of the place is very different from the public school she attended when she first arrived. It's quirky, somewhat chaotic and the kids are required to wear uniforms. There are several international students who attend, including 2 high school girls from China. In some ways, it feels as though the students, staff and parents are all part of one big family. The level of accountability is intense. We’ll see how this experiment goes.

A Road Trip to Montana

In late August, we set-out on a partial road trip (flew to Salt Lake City – drove to Bozeman) to visit Lanhua’s aunt and uncle, Sheri and Eric. It was a great journey. Lan saw beautiful animals up-close at Yellowstone’s Grizzly and Wolf Discovery Center (http://www.grizzlydiscoveryctr.com), visited Old Faithful and toured a good section of the park. She experienced her first canoe ride with Eric, Steve and Ruddy (Eric and Sheri's Scottie) and went to a fantastic hands-on exhibit for kids of da Vinci’s inventions at Bozeman’s Museum of the Rockies. Her uncle Eric raced his motorcycle in a crazy mountain ride around Big Sky (and took 5th place with a broken foot!!) and her aunt Sheri showered her with an amazing handmade quilt, embroidered Lanhua t-shirt and the best toffee ever. It was really hard to say goodbye to Eric and Sheri and to leave Bozeman. The end of this vacation marked the looming close to our first summer together and the start of a new school year. It’s all very, very good, but each day passes so quickly!!

Month 6!

To describe all that we’ve experienced in the past 6 months would take too many words to be practical for a blog. Someday, Steve, Lanhua and I will record this experience in greater detail and share it with those who are interested. In the meantime, I’ll just say that the past 6 months have been absolutely fascinating. Everyday presents with a new milestone, achievement, challenge and discovery. I can’t imagine our life without Lanhua. She is a part of our minds, hearts and souls. She's an incredible kid.

Lanhua has grown ~3 inches since she arrived in the United States (trying to figure-out what to feed is no longer an issue!).
Although she’s somewhat reticent about trying to speak English, her comprehension is amazing (~75% of what we talk about, she generally understands).

She’s no longer camera shy.

She sings and laughs and plays everyday.

Colorado

The world is as many times new as there are children in our lives. ~Robert Brault

Lanhua, Steve and I visited our family in Colorado last week. We had a wonderful time. I continue to be amazed and impressed by the apparent happiness, strength, curiosity and courage that Lanhua finds and shares with her new family.

Family = Love

This is what Lan's Aunt, Uncle and cousins left for her on her chalkboard when they left....she hasn't touched it since they left.

Cousins! (And an aunt and uncle....)

The past four days have been quite eventful for our little girl. Pam, Lanhua, and I have been the happy hosts of my brother Brian, sister-in-law Heidi, and our two twin nephews, Seth and Jackson. They're on a Griswold-style family vacation (no Wallyworld, but Mt. Rushmore is in the gameplan), and we were lucky enough to be their first stop! It was fantastic for Lanhua to get to spend so much time with her two younger cousins, and her Aunt Heidi and Uncle Brian; she had so much fun with them. We hit Legoland, the beach, visited Brian's old haunts at UC San Diego, and played a lot of Wii games. (I had warned Lan that her Uncle Brian was a preternatural whiz at video games and he did not disappoint - she was awestruck when he bowled 5 strikes in a row, and proceeded to wipe the floor with her Baba...)

Seth and Jackson slept in her room, so every night was like a slumber party for Lan. Add in Aunt Heidi reading bedtime stories every night (not to mention playing games like Dead Bug, which consists of dancing to music until the music stops and someone shouts "Dead Bug" and everyone has to drop to the floor, kicking their legs up frantically), and, well, let's just say that before her cousins and Aunt and Uncle had left she was already making it clear that we now needed to go to Sacramento to spend 4 days with them!

And speaking of cousins and aunts and uncles, in just a week and a half we leave to Colorado Springs where we'll spend 4 days with Uncle Bob, Aunt Susan, cousins Allyson and Mackenzie, and Grandma! She is VERY excited about meeting her older cousins, although Pam and I suspect she's a little a nervous; we think she's going to be very shy at first. When we show her pictures of the girls, she smiles broadly and says her current favorite phrase of, "I don't know," which tends to mean she doesn't have the words to express herself, but that she's very happy or excited. We're not worried; Ally and Mac are such sweet girls that Lan's shyness won't last very long!

Next blog: Lan's first trapeze experience from several weeks ago!

(I've posted a few photos and a movie: there's Lan washing Seth's hair, storybook time, and Lan and Heidi-yi getting down to some Kylie Minogue...)

Our daughter, Joey Ramone.

...'nuff said. And, yeah, Joey Ramone thinks pink is PUNK.

Disneyland, Redux, Part II

Yes, more pictures...

Disneyland, Redux

Hello again! Funny thing. As I was reviewing our posts I realized that we had not posted on Lanhua’s FIRST visit to Disneyland. (I think this was a case of Pam thinking I had blogged on it and vice versa.) Back in March, we went on a quick trip to meet some of my family and introduce Lanhua to them. My younger brother Brian and his family (super-cool sister-in-law Heidi and twin nephews Seth and Jackson), my older sister Shelley (who just recently kicked butt on the AIDS Lifecycle ride), my niece Megan (student at Humboldt State), and my mom were all hand to help introduce Lanhua to the happiest place on earth!

It was, of course, a lot of fun, and in case you couldn’t tell from our more recent visit, Lanhua fell in love with Disneyland immediately. In fact, during that first trip we think we heard the word “whoa” come out of Lanhua at least a dozen times. I don’t think she had ever in life seen anything like Disneyland, nor did she probably ever expect to.

Anyway, I wanted to post some pictures from that trip. It was great for her to meet yet another uncle and two more aunts, as well as some awesome cousins. (And seeing her A-mah, or grandma, again was icing on the cake!)

Another post coming soon!

Yet more Disney photos...